That day, my family told me. Religion issue is very big issue.
They take it seriously. If He cannot accept, they cant accept even I love him.
Now, they wont support me unless he agrees.
They worry the difference of value...
They worry the next generation...
They worry the harmony of household...
They worry my life after marriage...
These actually adding the miserable of the condition.
I have been keeping this for long time...
The time i read my previous posts, their comment and stand poped out.
I have to choose...
Y cant I want both?
I have to make decision... between religion and Him...
I wish I can get BOTH.
God... Teach me...
I know Your will and Guide very clear.
How to overcome this? How to bring him to You?
I love You and I love Him...
I am lost...
Sometimes, I really hate myself for this issue and challenging Your words...
Your word is clear...
Family stand is clear...
Left me and him...
Bless the talk between us...
Ready him for You and Me...
It is nearer, and I am scarer...
Where is my strength?
Where is my faith?
Where is my hope?
God, Let me know there are from You...
I have to Love You more to ensure my Love to him...
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
How leh?
We promise to talk about that only the time we meet...
But, recently, I found myself have many things wan to tell him.
He kept his promise... So, the problem is me...
Sometimes,
I feel sad because of that issue between he and me...
I feel worry because he is now at a new place and have to start thing all over again...
I feel happy to receive his sms and call...
I feel complicated between talk or not talk...
I am rational... But, when come to this, I lost...
How leh?
I also don know how...
Cannot tell u, then I write it down lo...
Just wan to express it...
Don worry, I am ok...
But, recently, I found myself have many things wan to tell him.
He kept his promise... So, the problem is me...
Sometimes,
I feel sad because of that issue between he and me...
I feel worry because he is now at a new place and have to start thing all over again...
I feel happy to receive his sms and call...
I feel complicated between talk or not talk...
I am rational... But, when come to this, I lost...
How leh?
I also don know how...
Cannot tell u, then I write it down lo...
Just wan to express it...
Don worry, I am ok...
Friday, October 30, 2009
I....
Haiz...
I not even know today is actually FRIDAY...
NO PHONE, NO SMS, NO MSN, NO FACEBOOK, NO VISIT PLEASE...
I need to be alone...
So that my negativity Wont spread away...
I only need family, him and God for this moment...
I not even know today is actually FRIDAY...
NO PHONE, NO SMS, NO MSN, NO FACEBOOK, NO VISIT PLEASE...
I need to be alone...
So that my negativity Wont spread away...
I only need family, him and God for this moment...
I am not in GOOD MOOD!!!
My plan for today is having fun and relax...
My plan for today is packing my books and ready to send home...
My plan for today is arrange my KMC and submit tomorrow...
My plan for today is sleep and eat and do things as I have planned...
But,
Y i have to do report for other?
Y she cannot give good work?
Y I?
Need to channel out my negative emotion!
Need to channel out my unfinished business!
Need to channel out my tiredness and body pain!
Need to channel out my stress and SCREAM!!!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!
Y Y , good way! Actually, not help much. Haiz...
*Anand,
have a safety journey to Tangkak o.
Do take care.
Rationalization in process.... hopefully can settle b4 12am...
My shoulder is very pain after typing for more than 3 days...
T.T
what can i do?
Y me?
He is moving other place...
Today, I REALLY NOT IN GOOD MOOD!!!
My plan for today is packing my books and ready to send home...
My plan for today is arrange my KMC and submit tomorrow...
My plan for today is sleep and eat and do things as I have planned...
But,
Y i have to do report for other?
Y she cannot give good work?
Y I?
Need to channel out my negative emotion!
Need to channel out my unfinished business!
Need to channel out my tiredness and body pain!
Need to channel out my stress and SCREAM!!!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!
Y Y , good way! Actually, not help much. Haiz...
*Anand,
have a safety journey to Tangkak o.
Do take care.
Rationalization in process.... hopefully can settle b4 12am...
My shoulder is very pain after typing for more than 3 days...
T.T
what can i do?
Y me?
He is moving other place...
Today, I REALLY NOT IN GOOD MOOD!!!
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Counselling Workshop on HIV/AIDS (17-18 Oct 2009) Part 2
This post going to share with you about the desensitization of sensitive issue. I would like to skip those parts which are too technical and academic so that you wont get headache. Unless you have interest to know, then, i will write.
Desensitization of Sensitive Issue
This was the most visual based presentation in the workshop. Mr. Fadzeli asked our coursemates to say out loud all 'sensitive' words such as vagina, penis, masturbation, sex, process to wear condom and so on. They demonstrated the way to use condom using game, picture, booklet and real picture. Well, quite sensitive la. But, i learnt a lot from the talk and demo.
The main hero in this talk is CONDOM. There are 3 categories of condom.
1- Condom for heterosexual
a) Male condom
b) Femedom (condom for female; this was new for me that i never know before)
2- Condom for homosexual
3- Condom for Oral Sex (Now only i realise the rationalisation of those flavoured condom in market).
What are the BENEFITs of using condom?
1- It is the only way can protect you from being infected by HIV--> Safe sex
2- It can prevent pregnancy for family planning
Things to remember about condom:
1- It is not 100% safe in terms of protection.
2- Have to be used in correct way and correct time.
3- Smooth surface and made by natural rubber.
4- Ensure it is not exceeds the expire date.
5- Do not unwrap the package of condom using sharp/edgily stuff such as nail, scissor, or cutter.
6- Do not blow the condom; it is not a balloon.
7- Apply only when the penis is under erection.
8- Take out from vagina right after ejaculation to avoid the condom left in the vagina.
Safe sex guideline... Remember:
1- Condom can only use ONCE.
2- Use only water base lubricant before using condom; no lotion is allow because it will weaken the wall of condom.
3- Do not pout condom in the back pack
4- Do not expose the condom to the sunlight
5- Be faithful to your partner
6- Reduce the number of sex partner
7- Avoid sexual intercourse with commercial sex workers.
Some information is new to me and I wish you can benefit from this post. Take it as knowledge and be open minded for this topic o. Knowing wont harm. ^^
Desensitization of Sensitive Issue
This was the most visual based presentation in the workshop. Mr. Fadzeli asked our coursemates to say out loud all 'sensitive' words such as vagina, penis, masturbation, sex, process to wear condom and so on. They demonstrated the way to use condom using game, picture, booklet and real picture. Well, quite sensitive la. But, i learnt a lot from the talk and demo.
The main hero in this talk is CONDOM. There are 3 categories of condom.
1- Condom for heterosexual
a) Male condom
b) Femedom (condom for female; this was new for me that i never know before)
2- Condom for homosexual
3- Condom for Oral Sex (Now only i realise the rationalisation of those flavoured condom in market).
What are the BENEFITs of using condom?
1- It is the only way can protect you from being infected by HIV--> Safe sex
2- It can prevent pregnancy for family planning
Things to remember about condom:
1- It is not 100% safe in terms of protection.
2- Have to be used in correct way and correct time.
3- Smooth surface and made by natural rubber.
4- Ensure it is not exceeds the expire date.
5- Do not unwrap the package of condom using sharp/edgily stuff such as nail, scissor, or cutter.
6- Do not blow the condom; it is not a balloon.
7- Apply only when the penis is under erection.
8- Take out from vagina right after ejaculation to avoid the condom left in the vagina.
Safe sex guideline... Remember:
1- Condom can only use ONCE.
2- Use only water base lubricant before using condom; no lotion is allow because it will weaken the wall of condom.
3- Do not pout condom in the back pack
4- Do not expose the condom to the sunlight
5- Be faithful to your partner
6- Reduce the number of sex partner
7- Avoid sexual intercourse with commercial sex workers.
Some information is new to me and I wish you can benefit from this post. Take it as knowledge and be open minded for this topic o. Knowing wont harm. ^^
Friday, October 23, 2009
Counselling Workshop on HIV/AIDS (17-18 Oct 2009) Part 1
There were workshop specially held for the topic of rehabilitation counselling in the concern of HIV/AIDS cases. Presenters were those practitioners from the Department of AIDS/STD, JKN Sarawak. The workshops covered 9 topics;
1) Epidemiology, Transmission of HIV/AIDS; by Dr. Norliza Jusoh,
2) Clinical Spectrum & Management of HIV/AIDS; by Dr. Juslina Omar,
3) Taking Drug and Sexual History; by Mr. Rowland Mitop,
4) General Counselling in HIV/AIDS; by Mr. Rowland Mitop,
5) Pretest and Postest Counselling; by Mr. Rowland Mitop,
6) Desensitization of Sensitive Issue; by Mr. Fadzeli Ali,
7) Counselling in Special group: Bereavement Counselling; by Mdm. Lily Kumbong,
8) Positive Living; by Mdm. Lily Kumbong,
9) Standard Precautions Grand Contenental; by Mdm. Lily Kumbong.
Will try to share the knowledge that i gained from them to all of you through blog.
First of all, be value free and do not judge AIDS and HIV patients. ^^
This post wan to share basic knowledge on HIV/AIDS, particularly on the terms and transmission of HIV.
1- Unprotected Sex with an infected partner; we will never know our partner was infected until he/she did the HIV test and went through the window period or incubation period (lasting 2 weeks to 3 months, sometimes up to 6 months where HIV virus cant be detected).
2- Sharing needles with infected person; this always happen among drug addicts.
3- Transmission from infected mother to fetus; this one has 3 possibilities, a) during pregnancy, b) during delivery process, c) breastfeeding baby. In statistic, there are only 3/10 HIV infected mother gave birth to HIV babies. The percentage is lower because early treatment to pregnant mother can reduce the chance of HIV duplication in mother body and prohibit it transmits to baby. HIV infected mother is not encourage to breastfeed baby because the breast milk contains HIV viruses.
4- Infection from blood products; blood donation is one of the examples. But, this factor is said to be eliminated from the HIV transmitted method because of advancing in technologies to check for blood sample before being used by patient in need.
C. AIDS is abbreviation of Acquired Immune Defiency Syndrome. It is the last stage for HIV patient and no cure for this illness for this moment.
For your information, HIV will not be transmitted through shaking hand, sharing food and drink, socialise activity, insect bite, share transportation, swim in the same pool, share toiletary, or sport game. However, bear in mind that HIV has its own frens. Sometimes, Hepatitis B, and C might be the fellow of HIV patient. Therefore, you are suppose be aware of Hepatitis B, and C syndrome rather than worrying on the HIV transmission through social contact.
High risk groups to get HIV are:
1- Sex workers (both male and female).
2- Clients to the sex worker,
3- MSM ( Male who has sexual intercourse with Male),
4- Intravenous Drug User (injection of drug to vein),
5- Person who have many sex partners
Few tips here for you to stay away from HIV,
1- Be loyal to your partner,
2- Avoiding exchange partner as well as having many sex partners,
3- Applying safe sex by using condom,
4- Do not abuse drug,
5- Avoid shared needles,
6- Avoid share or use personal tool that might be infected such as shaver.
Personally, I know most of the information listed above before attenting the workshop. The speakers shared and added up my storage of information throughout the process which i wish to share with all of u in next, next next, and next next next post. ^^
Hope you all benefit from this post and practive the tips for healthy life.
1) Epidemiology, Transmission of HIV/AIDS; by Dr. Norliza Jusoh,
2) Clinical Spectrum & Management of HIV/AIDS; by Dr. Juslina Omar,
3) Taking Drug and Sexual History; by Mr. Rowland Mitop,
4) General Counselling in HIV/AIDS; by Mr. Rowland Mitop,
5) Pretest and Postest Counselling; by Mr. Rowland Mitop,
6) Desensitization of Sensitive Issue; by Mr. Fadzeli Ali,
7) Counselling in Special group: Bereavement Counselling; by Mdm. Lily Kumbong,
8) Positive Living; by Mdm. Lily Kumbong,
9) Standard Precautions Grand Contenental; by Mdm. Lily Kumbong.
Will try to share the knowledge that i gained from them to all of you through blog.
First of all, be value free and do not judge AIDS and HIV patients. ^^
This post wan to share basic knowledge on HIV/AIDS, particularly on the terms and transmission of HIV.
A. STD is abbreviation of Sexually Transmitted Disease (Penyakit Kelamin in Malay). STD can only be trasmitted through sexual intercourse.
B. HIV is abbreviation of Human Immunodeficiency Virus. In short, it is type of virus that will harm human immune system through duplicating itself in our body. HIV can be trasmitted through 4 methods in common,1- Unprotected Sex with an infected partner; we will never know our partner was infected until he/she did the HIV test and went through the window period or incubation period (lasting 2 weeks to 3 months, sometimes up to 6 months where HIV virus cant be detected).
2- Sharing needles with infected person; this always happen among drug addicts.
3- Transmission from infected mother to fetus; this one has 3 possibilities, a) during pregnancy, b) during delivery process, c) breastfeeding baby. In statistic, there are only 3/10 HIV infected mother gave birth to HIV babies. The percentage is lower because early treatment to pregnant mother can reduce the chance of HIV duplication in mother body and prohibit it transmits to baby. HIV infected mother is not encourage to breastfeed baby because the breast milk contains HIV viruses.
4- Infection from blood products; blood donation is one of the examples. But, this factor is said to be eliminated from the HIV transmitted method because of advancing in technologies to check for blood sample before being used by patient in need.
C. AIDS is abbreviation of Acquired Immune Defiency Syndrome. It is the last stage for HIV patient and no cure for this illness for this moment.
For your information, HIV will not be transmitted through shaking hand, sharing food and drink, socialise activity, insect bite, share transportation, swim in the same pool, share toiletary, or sport game. However, bear in mind that HIV has its own frens. Sometimes, Hepatitis B, and C might be the fellow of HIV patient. Therefore, you are suppose be aware of Hepatitis B, and C syndrome rather than worrying on the HIV transmission through social contact.
High risk groups to get HIV are:
1- Sex workers (both male and female).
2- Clients to the sex worker,
3- MSM ( Male who has sexual intercourse with Male),
4- Intravenous Drug User (injection of drug to vein),
5- Person who have many sex partners
Few tips here for you to stay away from HIV,
1- Be loyal to your partner,
2- Avoiding exchange partner as well as having many sex partners,
3- Applying safe sex by using condom,
4- Do not abuse drug,
5- Avoid shared needles,
6- Avoid share or use personal tool that might be infected such as shaver.
Personally, I know most of the information listed above before attenting the workshop. The speakers shared and added up my storage of information throughout the process which i wish to share with all of u in next, next next, and next next next post. ^^
Hope you all benefit from this post and practive the tips for healthy life.
Friday, October 16, 2009
现在的我……
跟小心心拿了车后，一个人，用很慢很慢的速度在大学内逛来逛去……
这次跟以往很不同……
以前，都是要驾快车来抒发内心的压抑……
这次，心情与以前不一样……
只想慢慢地、慢慢地、无方向、无所想地驾着车……
可是，我还是想了很多很多……
我该怎么样？
我能怎么样？
我会怎么样？
我是怎么样？
上帝要我怎么样？
这个才是我的关心……
我告诉他，我选择上帝……
可是，
放手让我觉得喘不过气来……
我放不开……
眼泪像是崩堤一样……
有点脆弱……
现在，是冷静期……
我应该算冷静吧……
没有飚车、没有暴饮暴食、没有睡觉逃避……
很冷静地做功课、找资料……
我觉得，这样是好的……
好好地过这几个星期……
不要想太多……
上帝，如果是他……
我相信，你会预备的……
现在的我……
我也不知该怎么说……
想告诉他好多好多事情……
他说：等我们见面吧……
他说：先放在心里……
他说：专注你的课业……
他说：不要给彼此希望……
我说：好………………
其实……
我心里想对他说的是……
不管结果怎么样……
这么多年了……
我爱他……
即使没有以后……
他还是在心里面……
没有东西能取代他……
不想让你看到这篇文章……
所以，
用了中文……
给我的家人……
谢谢你们……
不用担心……
我只是需要一点时间……
给我的朋友……
现在的我……
在冷静期……
对你们冷淡让我深觉抱歉……
时间到了，
我会好一点的……
现在的我……
你要好好的专注学业……
你要把要说的话忍在心里……
你要管好自己的心……
你要等待……
因为，
这是你答应他的……
这次跟以往很不同……
以前，都是要驾快车来抒发内心的压抑……
这次，心情与以前不一样……
只想慢慢地、慢慢地、无方向、无所想地驾着车……
可是，我还是想了很多很多……
我该怎么样？
我能怎么样？
我会怎么样？
我是怎么样？
上帝要我怎么样？
这个才是我的关心……
我告诉他，我选择上帝……
可是，
放手让我觉得喘不过气来……
我放不开……
眼泪像是崩堤一样……
有点脆弱……
现在，是冷静期……
我应该算冷静吧……
没有飚车、没有暴饮暴食、没有睡觉逃避……
很冷静地做功课、找资料……
我觉得，这样是好的……
好好地过这几个星期……
不要想太多……
上帝，如果是他……
我相信，你会预备的……
现在的我……
我也不知该怎么说……
想告诉他好多好多事情……
他说：等我们见面吧……
他说：先放在心里……
他说：专注你的课业……
他说：不要给彼此希望……
我说：好………………
其实……
我心里想对他说的是……
不管结果怎么样……
这么多年了……
我爱他……
即使没有以后……
他还是在心里面……
没有东西能取代他……
不想让你看到这篇文章……
所以，
用了中文……
给我的家人……
谢谢你们……
不用担心……
我只是需要一点时间……
给我的朋友……
现在的我……
在冷静期……
对你们冷淡让我深觉抱歉……
时间到了，
我会好一点的……
现在的我……
你要好好的专注学业……
你要把要说的话忍在心里……
你要管好自己的心……
你要等待……
因为，
这是你答应他的……
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